Mmmmm...Turkey

We're in mid-November which means holiday season is right upon us. Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away and that means turkey. In quite a lot of cases it means dry, cardboardy turkey and then a nap. Well, in my case, it means fantastic turkey. Not to brag (OK, I'm bragging) but my roast turkey is fucking excellent. Most of that credit goes to Alton Brown though. I stole his recipe with a couple of minor additions. The best part of being in charge of cooking the big thing, like the turkey, is there's not much to do with it once it's in the oven. Which leaves plenty of time to watch football.

BRINE

1 gallon (64ozs) vegetable stock

1 cup salt

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 tbsp black peppercorns

1 1/2 tsp allspice berries

1 1/2 tsp candied ginger

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 gallon ice water

Combine all these ingredients except the ice water in a stock pot and bring to a boil. Stir occasionally until the solids dissolves. Let cool to room temperature and then refrigerate. When you're ready to put the turkey in (if you're using a frozen turkey, make sure it's thawed) add the ice water. Refrigerate for 24 hours. Turn over once during brining.

For roasting the soon to be delicious beast you'll need...

1 apple, cored and sliced

1/2 yellow onion, sliced

1 cinnamon stick

4 sprigs fresh rosemary

6 sage leaves

2 garlic cloves, crushed

1 cup of water

canola oil

2 tbsp butter

salt and pepper

A turkey (gobble gobble)

butcher's twine

Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Remove bird from the brine and rinse. Discard the brine. Pat turkey dry with paper towels. Put the apple, onion, cinnamon stick and water in a microwave-safe bowl and microwave on high for 5 minutes. Add it to the cavity of the turkey with the rosemary, sage and garlic. Truss the turkey so it cooks evenly (and so it looks purty when it's done. This is a good video on how to do it. Thanks again, Alton.) Combine the butter with the canola oil and then coat the skin of the turkey with the combination and with salt and pepper. Roast the turkey at 500 degrees for a 1/2 hour. Then put a temperature probe into the thickest part of the breast and reduce heat to 350 degrees. Let cook until thermometer gets to 160 degrees. A good rule of thumb is probably about 15 – 18 minutes per pound. But it's always better to go with a probe. When you hit the target temperature take that sucker out of the oven and tent with foil...DON'T REMOVE THE PROBE or all the juicy goodness will just leak out. Let the bird rest for 20-30 minutes before you carve up that bad boy. I hope this recipe makes you inner fat kid as happy as it makes mine. Happy eating, folks!