Sunday, April 20, 2014

Mediocrity Has A High Price

 The Good Friday tradition of meat-sinning with Annie is one of my favorite traditions of all time. Every year, on Good Friday, Annie and I go out and enjoy a rich, bountiful meal centered around charred cow. Beautifully cooked, red in the middle, earthy charred cow. It is everything that is right with the world. Your day may have sucked. Your week, month or year could have sucked. Someone could have kicked you in the balls (sorry ladies, there really is no comparison for me to use for you) 4 hours earlier...but if there's a perfectly cooked porterhouse, a glass of whiskey on a table in a nice restaurant and a good person sitting across from you to share it with...all is about to be right with the world.

For a couple of years Annie and I were going to the same place yearly for our sinful jaunt. But our previous haven of inequity was to up and down as far as quality, so we decided to take our devilish show on the road. After a bit of searching, and deciding we wanted to go to someplace entirely new to us, we settled on Costata. What better place for meaty indulgence than an eatery whose name means “rib eye” in Italian? As it turns out, there are better places.

When we arrived for our 7:15 reservation, there weren't very many parties seated. But, as I've come to notice lately, dinner time seems to be getting later and later for most folks. As the last handful of times I've been out to eat, restaurants aren't really starting to fill up until after 8, sometimes after 9. I couldn't imagine it being a good idea to have a big, steak dinner after 9pm. But that's just me. Initially, our server was a touch overbearing. He was a little to eager. And while I prefer this to a server that disappears, it is distracting when you're conversing with someone only to be interrupted by an over-eager waitstaff. It was also a little unnerving that when the waitstaff wasn't helping anyone they seemed to gather against one wall near the center of the dining room and line up facing their guests. It reminded me of a murder of crows sitting on a power line plotting something evil on unsuspecting travelers stranded on the side of a rarely traveled highway. This was somewhat exacerbated by the upstairs dining room (there was another one downstairs that seemed to be blocked off for some reason or another) feeling somewhat snug. Despite the classic rock playing (which I also found an odd choice) and the bustle of a busy room, it was still entirely too easy to catch snippets of all the conversations surrounding us. I'd have likely felt less murderous towards the douchey foursome seated next to us if I hadn't heard one of them say to their server “We absolutely must meet the chef, he insisted we come see him when we met him at the Food and Wine show” or knowing that they had a strenuous game of squash. (Who the fuck plays squash!? Yeah, I'm judging. So what?) These things seemed to stop once the dining room filled up and everyone got busier. We wound up really liking our waiter in the end. He was very personable as it turned out. It also seemed off to me that you had to take an elevator down two floors to use the restrooms. Just another small thing that stuck out as off-putting to me. These things might seem a little nitpicky but they're generally not an issue at the better places. They're the things that set great restaurants apart from average ones.

Speaking of judging, on the other side of us from the squash-player and the chef-meeter were a somewhat younger foursome. Along with two Malaysian-looking women (I couldn't help joking that we found some of the people from the missing plane.) one guy in that foursome was wearing an FDNY t-shirt and the other was wearing a hoodie. Both were wearing sneakers. Now I'm not really a stickler for dress codes and such. I'm all about comfort. But under no circumstances is it OK to go to a steakhouse wearing sneakers and a t-shirt! If you're going to a steakhouse, you're signaling to the world that you're a grown-up and you appreciate the finer things life has to offer you. Dress the part! Fuckin' douchebags. Moving on...

Getting to what is obviously the most important part...the food.

When you set out to purposely do evil and the first thing you're served upon sitting at your table is a piece of fluffy focaccia and a bowl of whipped lardo flavored with olive oil and rosemary, you're well on your way to becoming the devil's favorite demons. Whipped lardo is basically meat butter. It's rendered back fat from a pig flavored with garlic and vinegar. Then they add some flavored olive oil to it at the table. That's right, they flavor the fat with...Even...More...Fat. Simply amazing. Unfortunately, it was the best thing we ate. Not that anything was bad, just that nothing was great. And most things were average.

We started out with an octopus and porkbelly dish and sweetbreads. The octopus was very good, the pork belly...not so much. It didn't taste much like pork, just fat. Not even porky fat, like it should have tasted. I'd have been much happier with more octopus instead. The sweetbreads were very subtle. At least that's the consensus Annie and I came up with. All it really tasted like was fried something. As neither of us have ever had sweetbreads (we broke our cherry here) we didn't know what they're supposed to taste like. But I feel safe in assuming that they shouldn't taste like nothing.

This thing is really is sinfully gorgeous.  Good pic, Annie.
Since we were out for steak, steak is what we ordered. We got the Costata. I feel like if you're going to a “high end” restaurant for the first time, you might as well order what they're known for. And I can't imagine what's more clear than ordering a dish with the same name as the restaurant. The Costata is a bone-in rib eye for two. Of course, we ordered it in medium-rare. (If you're ordering a steak at a steakhouse cooked anything higher than medium, you're wasting your money. Just stay home and eat a TV dinner.) On the side we ordered baby zucchini, crispy red potatoes and fried artichokes. I really liked the zucchini, which are served in a bagna cauda vinaigrette (garlic, oil and sardines...it really is wonderful). The potatoes were OK. I didn't dislike them but that's the best I can say about them. The artichokes were a waste of time. They might as well have been potato chips as much as they tasted like artichokes. The rib-eye was very impressive looking. Perfectly cooked and laid out next to a fierce looking monster of a bone. (There were a couple of times I considered using that giant bone as a club to beat the t-shirt guy or the squash player) It wasn't a bad steak, folks. But it wasn't a great one either. Truthfully, it wasn't even a good one. It was an OK steak. Both ends of the steak were a bit tough and I was surprised by how much gristle was in the meat. When I pay this much money for a steak, I expect something near perfection. That's not what we got. The flavor of the steak was pretty good. Slightly gamey, almost funky. I liked that.

After dinner, even though it was somewhat disappointing, we tried dessert. Annie seemed pleased with her gelato, that the waiter helped her choose. I really liked the fruit torte that I got which had a ricotta mousse on an almond cake with some fresh berries and a blueberry limoncello sorbet. The coffee was excellent.

In all, I've got to say that I was pretty disappointed in Costata. I came in expecting much better. And after spending more than I ever had on a meal in a restaurant I'd have hoped for more. This was a very expensive, average experience. Truthfully, the company saved the night. If I wasn't out eating with someone I like being out with, I'd have been angry at the whole deal. Thankfully, your companions make the night, not the restaurant. I didn't hate the place, but there was nothing there that would make me want to go back. Annie and I will be looking for another new place to sin next year.

206 Spring Street
New York, NY, 10012
212-334-3320

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