Things didn't start out in a way that inspired optimism for our
shared birthday dinner. Annie was turning whatever age it is that
women decide they are and I was checking into a new decade...the
40's. To celebrate another year of survival, we invited a handful of
friends to feast with us. Based on a recommendation of a friend we
went with Patrizia's in Williamsburg. Before you get all “Fuck
Williamsburg and all those hipsters”, this is the least hipstery
thing in all of Williamsburg, maybe in all of Brooklyn. So shut the
fuck up. We showed up 645pm for our 7 o'clock reservation and
noticed just how packed this place was. It was absolutely bustling.
We met the nice woman at the door and she tells us that it'll be just
a little bit, but not too long. After being bounced around in the
very tiny little area in front of the entrance to the restaurant, a
waiter led us into a tent set up against the front of the restaurant
that had one of those heater tower thingies in it. He provided us with
the proverbial “Bottle of red, bottle of white...” and left us to
find someone that could figure out how to turn the heater thingie
(I'm pretty sure that's the technical name for it) on. Luckily for
our cold selves, I got the thing on and Jason figured out how to
control how much heat we got from it. As our party arrived in dribs
and drabs we enjoyed conversation and most of the wine provided us,
while the tent got more and more crowded with other people waiting to
be seated. It wasn't until around 745pm that we were finally shown
to a table. Normally, I'd be pretty pissed about waiting an
hour for a table that I'd made a reservation for. But this place was
simply that damn good! As a testament to how good it was, it's been 6
days since we were there and I actually dreamt of the burrata I had
there last night!
Patrizia's is incredibly crowded. It's difficult to move around
in your seat, let alone get to and from your table. When I say
crowded, I mean that two of our party seated in the corner had to
actually crawl under the table to be able to go to the restroom.
That's pretty damn crowded. It doesn't matter. The waitstaff are
attentive and seem to be pretty happy folks. We're a pretty raucous
bunch and a bunch of lushes. No one batted an eye at our needing to
see a menu to accommodate our resident vegetarian or at our constant
requests for more pitchers of sangria...and there were A LOT of
pitchers of sangria. Even the other patrons all seemed to be jovial
happy folks. We wound up talking to a bunch of the diners
surrounding us, mostly because they're all close enough that they
could be sitting with us in some instances. People are laughing and
singing everywhere. They do a sing-along thing for people's
birthdays where everyone waves their napkins in the air. We were
there for probably 3+ hours and I'm positive I waived my napkin at
least a dozen times (including for Annie...haha, didn't get
me!)...and so did nearly everyone else. At one point we were actually
singing and dancing to “Greased Lightning” at the table...yes, I
said dancing. Never done that in an Italian restaurant, I bet. As
much fun as this place was, and it was a ton of fun, the reason you
overlook the wait and being packed in like an N train at rush hour is
the food. Oh My God...the food.
We went with a family style menu. In other words, they just
brought out plates of food and we attacked the plates with the fervor
of ravenous wolverines. It started out with burrata (which is a
mozzarella-type cheese stuffed with a creamy cheesy center) with
caponata and marinated grape tomatoes. As I said, I dreamt about
this last night. This was some of the best cheese I've ever put in
my face hole. Someone nearly got themselves stabbed over the last
piece on a plate. When the food provokes possible violence, you know
you've done something right. After that came absolutely delicious
eggplant parmigiana. Then some amazingly tender calamari tossed in a
slightly spicy red sauce. Next was the best grilled octopus I've ever
had. I LOVE octopus. I order it whenever I have the opportunity.
This was the best I've ever had. It was almost buttery it was so
tender. It's making me yearn just typing about it, so I'm going to
move on before I start walking to Williamsburg right now. This was
like wave after wave of Mmmmm. Now they bring these giant plates of
mussels, clams and lobster. Which we devoured with glee. There were
pieces of shell flying around everywhere. As though a 28-armed
Tazmanian Devil attacked the table. Next came the pasta courses. I
don't know what these things are really called but we called them
“moneybags” because that's kind of what they looked like. Sort
of like giant tortellini-type things stuffed with cheese in a cream
sauce with mushrooms and prosciutto. So so good and so incredibly
rich. Then more pasta which was orecchiette with broccoli rabe in
garlic and oil. I'm not really a big broccoli rabe fan, so this
didn't do too much for me. Just way too bitter. But the people that
did like broccoli rabe, loved this stuff. Lastly they brought us
plates of lamb chops and skirt steak. All niceties went out the
window and I was eating the lamb chops like big, meat lollipops. By
the time the meat was all gone, I was beaten into submission. I
simply wasn't able to eat anymore. We had all been fed into
oblivion. What an amazing feast.
 |
| MoneyBags...or whatever they're called |
As I'm talking to a couple of other folks that took part in this
fantastic meal I'm reminded that we had pizza and giant grilled
shrimp. Both were pretty good. But not on the level of all this
other outrageously great food.
At the end, someone ratted out Annie and they came and sang Happy
Birthday to her and we all waived our napkins in the air. They
brought out some desserts for her to blow out candles on. There was
an apple turnover looking thing, tiramisu and some type of what
looked like a crepe. I ate 2 bites of the tiramisu, which was quite
good, but there was simply no more room inside of me. I'd have burst
like an overstuffed sausage. Which is a lousy way to spend your 40
th
birthday.
Instead of bursting from overeating, we all went to
Windy City Ale House, which
has been one of my favorite bars for awhile now, and imbibed until
some ungodly hour with even more of my favorite people. I said it
that night and I'll say it again now, “If this day is any
indication as to what 40 is going to be like, this is going to be a
fantastic year.” Thank you to all of you that came out and made
it an incredible day. Thank you, Patrizia's for feeding us like it
was our last meal. Thank you, Windy City, for making sure everything
past around 1am is kind of blurry.
Patrizia's was just great, great food, with an excellent staff, a
very fun atmosphere and seriously affordable. With all that food and
drink it came to around $75 per person. That's a flat-out steal. If
you've got some kind of group food outing in the planning, go here.
You might find me at the door begging for burrata and octopus.
PS: I do apologize for the lack of pictures, we were just too
caught up in having a great time to take any. Maybe I don't really
apologize that much.
Patrizia's of Williamsburg
35 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY, 11249
It's been a good long while since I've
written one of these. But I'm hoping to move past my rampant
laziness and do it more often this year. I like to eat. I like to
drink. I like the people I get to eat and drink with. And, as it
turns out, I still like to write sometimes. Hopefully, I still
remember where the ballgags go and what the safe words are. Hope
you're hungry.
