It Was Worth the Wait...And I'm Never Waiting That Long Again!

I know it's been a long while.  I'm sure you all missed me.  I've been lazy and negligent...and the truth is I've had some fantastic meals that I just never got around to writing about.  That's changed today though.  Welcome to Monte's...

So, for about a year now, every time I would see John and Gina, they'd somehow work it into the conversation how they just had to take me to this restaurant called Monte's. It's this pizzeria/restaurant they discovered on Carroll Street around the corner from their tattoo shop. (I was going to call it a tattoo “parlor” but it just sounds ridiculous in my head.) This Monte's had been mentioned to me at least a dozen times and I had completely given up any hope of ever setting foot inside the establishment. After all this time, I should be forgiven is I thought this place was as real as the Easter Bunny, Brian Johnson's Canadian girlfriend (If you don't get that, you may be too young to be reading this.) or a compassionate conservative. However, on the day after we all went to a raucous 40^th birthday party where some of us danced with plastic skeletons and we drank Bay Ridge dry of whiskey... After Gina spent the day making her stunning debut as a runway model... After John and I made our spectacular debut what looked to many as gay parents, I was finally gifted with a visit to this Snuffleupagus of restaurants. And it was worth the wait.

As with most places John and Gina frequent, when you walk in, you're greeted with a handshake and a smile. John immediately becomes the mayor of pretty much any place he visits more than 5 times. Monte's was no different. All of the staff were very friendly. The waiter made it a point to include John and Gina's 3-year old, Chloe...who seemed to be pretty thrilled with the margherita pizza that she had. The only complaint I can even think of about the restaurant was that it was a bit dimly lit for my tastes.

The Bresaola Pie...ours had a lot more spinach.

We adults decided on a small pizza as an appetizer and then regular entrees for dinner. I was told

immediately after agreeing to this idea that we were getting the Bresaola pizza and that was that. When you're given a a “suggestion” as fervently as I was given that one, you don't argue. Am I ever glad that I didn't. Before I even bother telling you what was on the pizza, let me tell you how amazing the crust was. Monte's makes their pizzas in a wood-fired oven and the crust is just perfect. It's slightly chewy with a little bit of crunch to it in places and just slightly tangy. Typing the words is making me yearn for it. OK...so the Bresaola pizza has mozzarella, mushrooms, baby spinach, bresaola (which is Italian air-dried beef for those of you not in the know), parmagiano cheese and truffle oil. This was a magnificent pizza. Normally, I'm annoyed by salad-ish type pizza with a bunch of leaves all over it. It just doesn't look like pizza. And when they brought this pizza out and I saw it, I was annoyed. Then I ate and I didn't care at all what it looked like. I just wanted to eat it...forever. John and I also split a few really excellent Prosciutto Balls. A lot of places make them and they're disgusting greasy cheese balls. This were actually perfect. No grease at all. Crunchy outside and creamy heaven inside. If you hadn't guessed, I was already loving Monte's.

Not to be forgotten, we did get entrees. John and Gina both had Rigatoni Bolognese that I didn't get to try, but their plates were as clean as when they came out of the dishwasher when they were done. That's got to say something. I had Garganelli All'anatra which was a bigger penne-like pasta with roasted duck ragu, truffle oil and mascarpone cheese. Unlike the pizza, I could not eat this every day...but I was thrilled to be eating it on Sunday. So fantastically rich and indulgent. The duck was incredibly tasty. I'm not always a fan of mascarpone, as it can be too sweet for my taste. Not in this case at all. This was almost an alfredo gone wild.

To give you an idea of the impact this excellent food had, the majority of this sprang fully-formed from my brain like Athena the goddess of wisdom at 2am. I jotted most of this down deliriously in the dark on a pad I keep on my bedside table. I promise you I will be going back to try more of this menu. I can't wait to eat more pizza!

Monte's

451 Carroll Street

Brooklyn, NY, 11215

718-852-7800

Just tell 'em John and Gina sent you. I'm sure they'll know who you mean.

Tzatziki Chicken Salad

Dramatis Personae
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
4 chicken thighs
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 clove garlic, minced
handful of chopped dill
3 chopped scallions (half a diced red onion would be tasty too)
salt and pepper
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cumin
some kalamata olives, pitted and chopped (optional)
olive oil
1/2 cucumber

1. In a bowl, toss the chicken thighs with salt, pepper, paprika, cumin and olive oil.  Dump it out in a baking dish.  Roast for 40 minutes.  I like to turn them over halfway through.  I'm pretty sure it makes no difference really, but I'm weird like that.

2. Run your cucumber (I didn't bother to peel or seed mine.  I wouldn't worry about it.) over a box grater.  Then put it all in a tea towel and squeeze the liquid out of it.  If you leave it all in, you're sauce will be watery.  No one likes watery sauce.

3. While the chicken is cooking, combine the yogurt, olives (If you're using them.  They add a little extra brinyness to that party.  I'd say go lighter on the final salt seasoning if you choose to use 'em.) vinegar, lemon juice, garlic, dill, cucumber, scallions (or red onions.  See, I'm flexible.  I provide options.) and mix that shit up good.

4. When the chicken is done, let it rest for at least 10 minutes.  I'd let it go until it's cool enough to handle comfortably.  You're not going to eat it warm anyway, so what's the rush.  Chop/shred the chicken off the bone.  (Make sure you eat the chicken that's left on the bone.  Don't waste good chicken thigh meat or you certainly can't be a proper Fat Kid.) Fold the chicken into the tzatziki mixture.  Cover and let chill for at least a couple of hours or overnight if possible.  This lets the flavors meld more completely.

5. Get yourself some pitas, warm those sumbitches up, add some lettuce and tomato and your awesome chicken salad and you are set for some good eating.  And pretty healthy at that.  Who knew I had healthy food in my quiver?

The Old-Fashioned Manhattan

I was lucky enough to be invited to a Xmas Eve soiree by the wonderful Sletholts this past year.  I arrived armed with an idea for a new whiskey drink as per Gina's request.  As I've been told the drink was a hit, I've decided to share.

The Old-Fashioned Manhattan
2 parts Bulleit Bourbon (You don't have to use Bulleit.  It's just what I prefer.)
3/4 parts Grand Marnier
1/2 part sweet vermouth
1 or 2 dashes of angostura bitters (If you've got them. Of course I have them.)
Splash of simple syrup (Entirely optional.  Sometimes I add it. Sometimes I don't.)
2 brandied or maraschino cherries
1 strip of orange peel (Run a flame along this for a couple of seconds and then twist to release some of the oils.  Run it along the rim of the glass before dropping in the drink.)
Club Soda (Serve drink in rocks glass, obviously on the rocks.  After adding everything else, give the drink a couple of heavy splashes of the club soda.  You could make this drink without the club soda but the soda mellows out the harshness of all that booze nicely.  Makes for a more pleasurable sip.)

A bit of advice.  If at all possible, drink these standing up.  If you drink 2 or 3 of The Old-Fashioned Manhattan sitting down, you may find standing up again to be more difficult than normal.