Sometimes You Have Dinner In A Bank Vault

 Butcher and Banker

Before we get started, I just need to say this. I'm eating dinner in a bank vault. A FRIGGIN' BANK VAULT! Fucking cool! Yeah, I'm a dork. So what.

It was Good Friday and for those of you that have been reading, you know what that means. It means it's time for MEAT. We've been at this for about a decade I think. We started this at the Benchmark in Park Slope and enjoyed our first couple of times there. We moved on to some hits and misses. I'd say Butcher and Banker was definitely a hit...with a couple of minor dings.

I was thinking about our sinful outings as I've been getting ready to write this. At pretty much every one there's been at least one fellow diner that manages to make us hate him or her. They're obnoxious to the staff. They're loud enough that it's impossible not to eavesdrop. And the conversations we eavesdrop on are always just terrible. This year was no different. This guy was across the vault from us and just annoying as all hell. This jackhole should definitely have been swallowed 40 years ago. Some folks just shouldn't be allowed out. I'm pretty sure these people are our penance from Jesus for so blatantly chewing meat in his face.

The setting really is kind of special here. I mean, that's true of all steakhouses. There's something classic and cool about a good steakhouse. But this took it to a different level. You enter through the New Yorker Hotel and then take an elevator downstairs. For some reason, I really liked the idea of going underground for dinner. It felt like we were going down to the Bat Cave. That feeling only increased when we were seated in a bank vault. I felt like we were having dinner in a Batman movie. Annie and I were seated beside a wall of safety deposit boxes. Oddly, the opposite wall was decorated pink flowers printed on a baby blue field. I have no idea what the heck that was about, but it certainly made you notice it. It sort of looked like pillows you'd find an a grandmother's couch. Kind of reminded me of the walls in this Italian restaurant, Gino's, that was on the beginning of the Upper East Side. They had zebras on a red field. Completely insane.

Our waiter, Miguel, deserves special mention. He was very pleasant. Seemed actually happy to be doing his job. And when Annie couldn't figure out what kind of cocktail she wanted, he was on the ball to help. That kind of attention to detail. He was clearly a professional and very good at what he does. It's that kind of service that helps make steakhouses special. Thank you, good sir.

That was a lot of writing and I haven't gotten to anything edible yet. Here we go.

After Annie settled on a negroni, which was excellent, and really hard to make properly because Campari is so bitter, and I ordered a fantastic Old-Fashioned (I'm a man of habit, I guess), they brought us out some delicious buns covered in herbs and butter and served with onion butter. I didn't know what onion butter was before last night, but I do now and I can never go back to not knowing. It was delicious and I want more of it. Then the appetizers started coming.

We began with a seafood tower. I didn't realize I'd be knocking down a dozen oysters, I figured on a half dozen. But when one has a job to do, a tasty tasty job at that, one does his duty. The oysters were fresh and briny and wonderful. The cocktail sauce needed some horseradish punch but the vinaigrette was good. Really, the oysters didn't need anything. The cocktail shrimp were the size of those mini-bats they give away at baseball games and were just as good as the oysters. The crab was good and crabby, I can't really think of anything else to say about it. The salmon tartar was pretty bland. It really needed some salt and maybe some heat. We also had Burrata Caprese, which was absolutely perfect, creamy and gleefully decadent. And finished off appetizing with Fried Calamari, Rock Shrimp and Shishito Peppers. Perfectly seasoned. I really liked the wasabi sauce. Annie preferred the curry salt. (BTW Annie, it was curry salt.) What is it about shishito peppers that make them so good?

Then the main event happened. We ordered the porterhouse for two, roasted mushrooms, creamed spinach and a potato cake cooked in duck fat. The porterhouse was really good. Incredible crust and well salted. Unfortunately, we ordered it medium rare and some of it came out well done. But somehow, even the well done parts were really tender and tasty. Just not as good as it could have and should have been. The creamed spinach was good and there was A LOT of it. It basically came in a gravy boat. The potatoes were crispy and rich. You could actually taste the duck fat. I could've eaten a bucket of those mushrooms. I would have if I didn't feel like I was going to explode at the table. There was just no way I could accommodate anymore food.

I would definitely recommend Butcher and Banker and would absolutely enjoy going back. This was a great time. I just want to say thank you to the Romans and Jews for offing Jesus, and for doing such a shit job of it that he came back a couple of days later so that Annie and I could enjoy fancy steak dinners once a year.

*Some pictures courtesy of Annie and her fancy new phone.

*If you want to see more pictures, you can fine them on Instagram @mikenico13

Butcher and Banker

481 8^th Avenue, Vault Level

New York, NY, 10065

212-268-8455